Samir Shukla
By Samir Shukla
The sangam (confluence) of Ohio and Mississippi Rivers.
Photo by Samir Shukla
The summer’s heat dome hung over the sharply dressed crowd. It was hot, yet I felt a special warmth on the inside. The kind we feel, even on the coldest of days, when we are among those that we like to be with during a gathering, in this case a family wedding out in the Midwest. I was happy being a part of this sangam.
Sangam is a Sanskrit word meaning convergence or gathering, a term used for the confluence of rivers, where two, or more, become one. In essence, sangams are meeting points.
No matter how individualistic some people may be or how self-reliant they may want to be, the emotional and physical fragility of what makes us human beings are the needs that mark the commonality of us – the need to belong, seek support, comfort and security. In essence, gather, meet and realign.
It is in our genes to meet and converge in large and small groups. We need these groupings, with family and friends, among the like-minded at sporting or musical events, or holding court with spiritual kindred in places of faith. It is the stir of human life.
Among the bindings bloomed by these types of groups is the most important of all, one that is preset by the sangam of bloodlines, not self-chosen, but genetically intertwined, through births. Families.
There are varied ideas of what a family is, but we’ll stick with those created by blood connections and those connected by marriages.
Weddings not only bind the couple but two sets of families, creating a new grouping. Two lives merged. Two families merged. A sangam that leads to new directions for many people. Some families are close, enjoy regular meetings, and have each other’s proverbial backs. Others have drifted apart. A few misspoken words in anger or moments of heat can linger and dissolve into bitterness. A properly timed and emotionally open sangam can heal some of these disjointed relations.
Families gather year-round for various activities, but summers are the quintessential season stacked with relational renewals. What better time of year for rekindling warmth of bonds than during hot summer days? There are happy sangams – weddings, graduations, reunions. There are also the unplanned convergences such as the passing of a family member. Somber sangams. Funerals.
Familial bonds are the glue that hold societies together. This is a foundational unit. Societal dissonance and breakdown happen when the family unit breaks down. I consider myself lucky to be part of two large families, something common among folks of India heritage.
How many untold sangams have happened between two unlike people crossing paths and becoming lifelong friends? Such is the power of this one word. We often reflect on the time and the specific place or point we met someone. It’s a memory marker accompanying us throughout our lives.
Few gatherings can match the cacophonous, colorful, musical, spiritual and culinary delights of an Indian wedding. They are sangams of pure joy. Even family members who have become distant are drawn closer during these affairs. It’s their loss if they are not.
On the drive back home to North Carolina after the rebinding during the wedding and its many events over the course of several days, we stopped by the sangam, the confluence, of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers, near the town of Cairo, Illinois. These two American water highways become one as the Ohio ends its journey and joins the mighty Mississippi as it makes its way down to the Gulf.
It was a lovely place. There were barges straddling the shores, old bridges connecting both sides. The water was calm as I tried to spot the area where the two waters became one. A couple of locals were fishing on the shore. We spent some time at this calming sangam.
The area has seen better days. Cairo is a dying town with a desolate and abandoned main street. It felt like a ghost town with boarded up buildings and sad surroundings. This town could use some sangam love.
The rivers flowed along at their leisure, in their own timeless journey. We went on with our journey home. Here’s to families – small, large, diverse, mixed, generationally connected, or recently attached. I’m looking forward to our next sangam, to renew the bonds with the gathered.
Samir Shukla is the Editor of Saathee Magazine.
Contact: samir@saathee.com
Twitter / X: @ShuklaWrites
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