Guest Author
By Hasitha Illa
I was 10 when I was diagnosed with a life altering condition – Friedreichs Ataxia. When we experience a great deal of turmoil, there is only one way we can win our mental health back, and that is self-acceptance.
But, to reach those beautiful, high views, we first need to experience all the bumpy roads along the way and this took a great portion of my life. I underwent the various stages of grief as I lost my ability to walk. At the time, I was only a child and kids deal with things way differently and could be one of the reasons why it took me so long.
First thing that I felt when I was diagnosed was denial. The question of why me? Denial showed up in my life to the point where the first mobility aid that I used in public was the wheelchair. My condition is degenerative and even though I could walk, having a walker or crutches would have made life so much easier for me but I refused. My stubbornness to walk masked my nonacceptance to the situation.
The second most evident thing is anger. I have always been that angry and blunt child while growing up. At the time, no one knew why, but now, as an adult I can self-introspect (a skill heartfulness gave me) and tell it was a stage of grief.
Bargaining was also something I did and is another stage of grief. There was a trial drug, which could potentially be a treatment at the time. I kept my hopes so high on this and I literally told myself that if this drug worked than everything will be fine. When it didn’t, that literally crushed me.
And as for depression, that’s something people go through when such an ordeal happens. Days of hopelessness, days of wanting to give up and days of having zero interest in life. And as a kid, all of this was extremely overwhelming.
Accepting myself and my situation has been one of the toughest roads I have ever embarked on but Heartfulness meditation was a major self-care tool which gave me so many realizations in my teen years.
When we think of meditation, the first thing that comes to mind is peace. But, this tool does much more than what it appears to be. Personally, it provides me with a major shift in perception which is what makes or breaks our lives. We receive and have a plethora of perceptions on a daily basis but only the right ones will help us in our self-betterment. I use to repeatedly say, “Why me?” But now I say, “Why not me?” and that’s when my life truly started blooming.
In addition, Heartfulness made me realize the importance of self-change. For the longest of time, I have been angry with the people around me but true bliss can be attained only when we self-introspect and start working on ourselves.
Life is a collection of ups and downs. And during those moments of distress, we need such a self-care tool which will always be with us. I once hated God for the life he has given me but I now can’t imagine a life without Him. Heartfulness gave me such a transformative journey and it will surely do the same for you too!
Hasitha Illa has been practicing Heartfulness for 10 years. You can find her on Instagram at @lifewithhasi.
