Raajeev Aggerwhil
By Raajeev Aggerwhil
My birthday in November 2004 was memorable. That’s when I came out of the closet. Sort of. I had been delving into stand-up comedy for a year but didn’t have an opportunity to perform in front of my family. Luckily, I had discovered a club in Arlington, Virginia that hosted family-friendly comedy shows on the weekend. So, you can imagine my excitement when they booked me for one of their shows, which coincidentally happened to be on my birthday.
When we arrived there, I saw the line-up. There were 10 comics but no audience members — except for my wife and three kids. The club had seats for a hundred people, so it seemed empty.
The MC bravely kicked off the show and, to make the show a bit more intimate, asked us all to huddle up at the front. He then made an announcement that at the end of the comedy show, there would be a contest called “Everybody is a comic” where individuals would have the opportunity to tell a joke on stage. People would vote for their favorite contestant by clapping. Whoever got the loudest applause would win $25 and some gift coupons.
The catch? The invitation was only extended to non-comics, so regular comics were ineligible to participate. That meant it would be a guaranteed win for our family if they were willing to participate.
It was in my early days of comedy, so I don’t remember how I did. After my set, I came back in the audience area and sat next to my wife. I asked her if she knew any jokes that she wanted to tell. She said she didn’t want to go up on stage. Maybe she had stage fright – she wouldn’t start doing stand-up many years later. Maybe she felt awkward telling a joke in front of a roomful of comics.
Whatever her reason was, I realized that she was not a true Bania or a Baniayen, a term I coined which also means an undershirt in Hindi!
I asked my teenage son if he would be willing to go up on stage and claim the prize that was destined for us. He agreed, but with one condition – he needed a joke suggestion. Luckily, I had stumbled upon a gem in a joke book recently, so I whispered it in his ear.
It was something like this: Once there was a big guy and little guy seated next to each other in a plane. The little guy at the window seat and the big guy was at the aisle seat. Halfway into the journey, the little guy started feeling queasy and wanted to go to the bathroom. The problem was that the big guy was sound asleep. The little guy was afraid to disturb him, so he didn’t dare get up. A few minutes later, the plane went through a turbulence and the little guy threw up all over the big guy’s stomach. The big guy was still sound asleep. Later when the big guy woke up, the little guy asked him, “So, are you feeling better now?”
It was a solid joke, with just the right narrative flair for the contest. My son liked it, so I was relieved. After all the comics had their turn, the MC started scanning the room for volunteers. Since we were still the only non-comics around, I had a big grin on my face. My son bravely rose from his seat and delivered the joke flawlessly – he got a decent applause.
Then, the MC asked for another volunteer. I wasn’t sure if there was a requirement to have at least two non-comics participate in the contest. My wife was still adamant. My second-born son, Vicktor, had a cold so he didn’t want to go on the stage and do it.
The fate of our comedy dynasty now rested on the shoulders of my youngest son Neil, who was only three years old at that time. Thankfully, he agreed.
I was delighted but a bit nervous. I had not anticipated that the MC would call for another non-comic, so I didn’t get a chance to suggest something for him.
Neil marched up confidently to the stage, his little hand barely reaching the microphone. All the comics cheered and clapped. The MC pulled the mike out of the tall stand and handed it to him.
Neil proceeded to tell his joke in broken English. “Once there was a big guy. Then there was a little guy. They were on the plane. Big guy was asleep. Then the little guy threw up on the big guy. The end.” All the comics went wild. They roared in laughter and gave a thunderous applause. There was no question who the winner would be.
Neil had plagiarized his older brother’s joke and still won! My oldest son complained, “Dad, he stole my joke.” I smiled and said, “I’m sure we can make an exception for a 3-year-old!” Neil was promptly awarded a gift bag with several coupons, and an envelope enclosed with $25 cash money.
At the time, that was the most money anyone in our family had made doing comedy!
After the show, my wife decided to celebrate my birthday by taking us to a pizza place in the same mall where the comedy club was located. We were all laughing and having a good time.
When the server brought her check, Neil reached out in the gift bag and put the envelope on the table and said, “It’s on me, Dad.”
We all laughed again.
It was a special birthday for me because on that day I performed for the first time on stage in front of my family. But as I mentioned, I don’t even remember how I did, nor did I care.
Simply getting treated for pizza by my 3-year-old son out of his earnings made it the most memorable gift I received on my birthday!
Raajeev Aggerwhil is a Los Angeles-based comedian. Follow him on Instagram @raajeevcomedy. To see his videos on YouTube, search for his name.
