Jennifer Allen
By Jennifer Allen
We enter solitude, in which also we lose loneliness… True solitude is found in the wild places, where one is without human obligation.
One’s inner voices become audible. One feels the attraction of one’s most intimate sources. In consequence, one responds more clearly to other lives. The more coherent one becomes within oneself as a creature, the more fully one enters into the communion of all creatures.
~ Wendell Berry
Our world, after many of us were forced into solitude for over a year, has been on a gradual rebound to how it was before. While most have embraced this return to “normalcy,” others have chosen to remain isolated due to a variety of reasons. Some merely prefer the comfortable environment of their home office compared to a generic offsite one. Others have remained at home at the behest of their employer for budgetary reasons. And finally, some insist their solitude helps with overall concentration and efficiency.
Some companies still acquiesce to a full work-at-home or hybrid business model, but even this is in moderate decline. So many enterprises rely on physical interaction that workers cannot maintain a detached way of life for a prolonged period of time. Their employees are henceforth expected to acknowledge this and reinstate a general 40-hour work week outside of the home.
Indeed… we learned the hard way during the pandemic that social interaction is crucial to our mental health. The Japanese have in recent years adopted the term, Hikikomori, which translates to “withdrawal to the inside” to refer to a person who has chosen to live in extreme isolation and confinement from society.
This lifestyle choice often stems from severe ennui surrounding their place in the world. Unfortunately, it also bolsters the problem as these voluntary hermits force themselves to avoid potential positive feedback as well as negative.
This form of segregation is quite severe, and those who practice it do require a bit of a push to reintegrate back into the general population. On the flipside of things, many of us still feel guilty for seeking a few moments of “alone time” especially when so many others depend on us. Caregivers of all sorts can be especially susceptible to this, as they have come to accept their role as one who must be available at any given time.
Fortunately, we’ve reached a better understanding and acceptance of mental health issues in recent years and one common way to assuage these issues is to allow yourself a few moments of solitude to reflect and refresh. Some accomplish this with meditation and others with some form of artistic expression.
One who becomes comfortable with solitude and enjoys their own company is a fundamental foundation of Philautia or self-love.
There is something to be said for accepting the silence which is at the core of us all. Within that silence, we’re free to create whatever we wish… whether it be a poem, painting, song, or whatever else strikes your fancy. And who knows? Finding your voice in solitude could ultimately become just as helpful to others as it can become something important to say to the world.
Also be mindful of others who request personal space. As Pawan Nair once said, “A person who enjoys solitude always gives others their space. No matter what kind of relationship it is, healthy space nourishes the connection.” In other words, acceptance of another person’s freedom often deepens the relationship as both parties do this without obligation.
As the old saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and honestly most of us don’t require constant scrutiny.
As we dive headlong into the last few months of the year and the plethora of holidays which fall within them, remember that it’s alright to say no to a gathering if you’d rather stay at home and curl up with a good book or film instead.
In the long run, you and your loved ones will be much happier when the time does come to face the world and express your own sense of self-worth.
Jennifer Allen works at Saathee and is also a Podcaster, Blogger, Photographer, Graphic Artist, Gamer, Martial Arts Practitioner, and all around Pop Culture Geek. You can reach her at saathee@saathee.com.
