Raajeev Aggerwhil
By Raajeev Aggerwhil
A couple of months ago, my wife casually mentioned that she was invited to participate in a fashion show called Fabulous Moms. It would be a showcase featuring about 25 moms and would be at the Sheraton Cerritos in the Los Angeles area a week before Mother’s Day. She wanted my opinion about participating in it. I am a proponent of trying out new things that are out of your comfort zone, if they are not life-threatening and don’t cost an arm and a leg.
I was supportive. I could also sense that she really wanted to do it. Not just supporting her but encouraging her was the right thing to do.
To be honest, I didn’t think it was a big deal. It was not a fashion show in Milan. Let’s face it. Cerritos is not Milan or Paris. This show was catering to an Indian audience. Cerritos and Artesia, both suburbs of Los Angeles, are part of Little India. There wouldn’t be any press or major publicity.
In all the years we have been married, I have not viewed my wife as a glamorous type. If you were to compare her to Bollywood actresses, her personality and style matches that of Juhi Chawla or Deepti Naval, as opposed to glamorous Aishwarya Rai or Raveena Tandon. She grew up in Ojhar, near Nasik, a small town in Maharashtra, where most people knew each other. All the people who lived in that township were employees of Hindustan Aeronautics Limited, a company responsible for manufacturing MIG fighter planes in collaboration with the Russians. She grew up watching fighter planes and dreamed of becoming a pilot herself. In fact, after high school, she applied to become a pilot at an aviation school in Mumbai without telling her friends. Unfortunately, her application was rejected because she didn’t have 20/20 vision.
Destiny made her confront her fears
She was also subject to incessant teasing, mostly from the boys in her high school. To avoid drawing unnecessary attention, she got giant black glasses to hide her face. In her picture, she looked as if she were going scuba diving! In her stand-up routine, she talks about a time when a family friend came to visit with his two sons. She was so shy she just hid under the bed. Destiny made her confront her fears by making her spend time surrounded by men – our three boys, our male dog and me! Growing up in a small town in Western India, away from the glamor of Bollywood and raised by middle-class overprotective conservative parents, she had learned to regard her beauty as a liability. Who does that? I may be biased but my impression of seeing good-looking girls from big cities whether in India or in the US, is that they are hyper aware of their beauty and know how to use it to attract boys.
Knowing her background and knowing that this fashion show was mostly meant for the Indian community, I thought it would be a good way to cross that item off her bucket list. I didn’t ask her too many questions. I was busy with my own work, so I let her do her own things, occasionally listening to her stories and progress.
I could sense the excitement in her voice
For rehearsals, my wife made several trips to Cerritos, an hour drive from our house in no traffic. She told me she preferred to stay overnight at the Sheraton the night before the show. She said it would be too hectic going back and forth from our house. I offered that perhaps I could stay with her, but she preferred to stay by herself as she needed to concentrate. I was a bit puzzled. Concentrate on what? This was not a stand-up act where you must remember your setlist, your premises, punchlines, and transitions. This involved just walking on stage and making sure you didn’t trip and fall off the ramp. How hard could it be?
I have been married for over 25 years, so I knew it was better to not question her judgement and just acquiesce to her wishes.
On the day of the show, she called and told me that her makeup artist spent about 1.5 hours working on her face. She was very happy with the results. They also picked out a dress for her I could sense the excitement in her voice. I asked her if she could send me a picture, but she preferred to keep it a surprise.
I almost didn’t recognize her
My sons and I arrived a couple of hours before the show. My wife told me she would meet me in the lobby. She also needed some help putting some of her belongings in the car. I was looking forward to seeing this new side of her. When I saw her, I almost didn’t recognize her. They did an elaborate make up, a combination of turquoise, pink and black color under the eyes. Her hair was curly. The dress was a montage of a blue, yellow, and red pattern on a polyester material. It was something I had not imagined it would be. In my mind, I thought she would be wearing a long traditional Indian-inspired dress, perhaps a floral lehenga or a churidar with an overflowing bright voluminous top.
I felt that she had more elegant and fashionable dresses at home. The makeup made her look like a peacock. In the video sketches that we put on social media, she does only minimal makeup all by herself and in my opinion, she looks a lot better. Sometimes less is more. I quickly put a check on my incongruent thoughts, reminding myself that I was not doing a comedy show.
She seemed to be brimming with happiness and excitement — that was good enough for me. Afterall, what do I know about fashion trends? In the fashion show hall, the designer was there showcasing his dresses. I found most of the colors were dull.
I have a strong preference for Punjabi-influenced style that has a little bit of extravagance. Still, I chatted a bit with the designer, praising his creativity.
My wife was walking with an attitude
Just before the show, I prayed for my wife’s success on the ramp. I prayed that she wouldn’t trip on the ramp and her 45-second walk would go smoothly and gracefully. Unlike a comedy show, I didn’t know what to expect or what the metrics of success would be. Her walk put my worries to rest. I saw it through my Cannon SLR camera shooting stills, while my eldest son was doing the recording. The organizers had told all the models not to smile while on the ramp. My wife was walking with an attitude! A good blend of confidence, beauty and grace. A bit bolder choice of dress and makeup than I would have preferred but still very fashionable.
After the show, many of her family and friends complemented her on her stellar performance, her dress and the unique choice of makeup. Later she posted her picture and the video on her social media which got many accolades from friends and acquaintances.
Several days after the show, I sensed a strange kind of satisfaction in her. Here was a project that she completed all by herself, with minimal intervention from anyone. I imagined if were living in India, she would have to get permission from the in-laws and all my immediate and extended family. Here she was free.
It was a moment of metamorphosis for both of us
I was so proud of her! She had finally done something for her own happiness. She has raised three wonderful boys and put up with an idiosyncratic husband for 25 years, always putting their happiness before her own. This time she did something significant only for herself. It was a solo flight. No directions, no suggestions, no co-pilot. Not even me. I also realized that it was a moment of metamorphosis for both of us.
For her, coming out in the open like a free butterfly, breaking the shell of pupa, its tissues hardened with years of selfless commitments and responsibilities of marriage and parenthood.
For me, it was finally having wisdom after years of trials and errors to give her carte blanche to choose activities for herself. The activities that her heart says are intuitively right and have promise of instant gratification and long-lasting happiness of her own.
It was on that night, the rest of the audience got to see all the beauty I have always seen in her!
Raajeev Aggerwhil is a Los Angeles-based comedian. Follow him on Instagram @raajeevcomedy
To see his videos on YouTube, search for his name.
