Samir Shukla
By Samir Shukla
There it was, again. The red Honda. The car had clearly been through a few fender benders. The rear fender was dangling a bit and one of the windows was cracked. There were visible dents on the car. The driver zipped by once again, almost scraping the passenger’s side of my car along with the one ahead of me. He was zigzagging through traffic, speeding, getting ahead of others, and then falling behind because of the heavy traffic. Most people were navigating at cautious speeds required during rush hour. This guy was not and, unless he had some type of emergency, there was no reason to play a racing game in this heavy traffic.
These types of drivers are sadly a little too common on the roads. These include the racers, impatient lane changers, along with those who are distracted via various means.
The slow moving traffic wasn’t letting up on this major thoroughfare on the southern edge of town. I drove on, scanning the perimeter. Just as I thought he was gone, the red Honda reappeared, restless and looking for any small space in front of cars, so he could squeeze in and get ahead of others. His presence on the highway created many chances for an accident. Other irate drivers let him know of his recklessness through loud lingering horns, but to no avail.
Eventually he took an exit and disappeared. During all the zigzagging, he never used his turn signals.
When on the road, why is such an easy task ignored by some? The very easy task of using turn signals. The little blinking lights give other drivers a bit of warning and likely can help avoid some accidents. Most people have learned to use their signals instinctively.
Unfortunately, after over 45 years of driving, I’ve noticed an increase in restless, impatient, and distracted drivers in recent years. These are signs of our times.
This seemingly minor thing, using turn signals or not using them, has parallels in our daily existence. I don’t mean just when we are driving, I’m talking about the invisible, psychological signals, buried deep in our psyches and emotions.
These signals are hardwired in us. Human interactions are rerouted via these signals. In this era of instant communications, deluge of information, isolation due to social media, these invisible signals have exploded.
We use them daily, while working, in social settings, and large gatherings. Most of the time we may not even be aware of using them. Often, people use these emotional signals knowingly. Other times, a flippant remark, misguided anger or frustration, condescending down talking, and myriad other conflict inducing signals are strewn about without thought or concern where they may land.
It’s sort of like drivers who don’t use their turn signals while driving, thinking they own the roads and somehow control the lanes, something that could lead to visible physical impacts. The lack of thoughtful use of emotional signals during interactions also often can have negative and invisible impacts.
These invisible signals become parameters with which others judge each other or make assumptions about each other. The worst of these emerge during heated debates, heavy emotional traffic if you will, where harsh words are exchanged. When these emotional signals fly about and zigzag each other with intemperate words, where any type of restraint is washed out by the heat of the moment, the damage is often immediate and likely gets baked into that relationship in the long run.
Our current political and social landscapes are potholed with these signals; many are used with an intent to illicit reactions while others are subtle, disguised and sent out to manipulate large numbers of people. Divisions created for political or even economic gains.
In the fragile threads of human connections, invisible turn signals can either enhance or disturb relationships, and this can happen knowingly or without self-awareness. Distances are created rather than the warmth of close connections. One could save the day with more mindful use of these signals.
We continually plow forward into new social terrains and technological advances that are creating disjointed paths. Being cognizant of these signals in our lives can soften the noise. Life is filled with many unknown paths where it’s a good idea to use signals with forethought.
Turn signals are of course especially useful in heavy traffic. Mindfulness while using invisible signals can be useful in avoiding many conflicts in our social traffic. Folks know where those turn signals are located in their cars and use them for mutual safety on the road, to reach their destinations. The tougher task is in becoming instinctive about using thoughtful emotional signals, where mutual trust should be the common final destination.
A note to the driver of the red Honda. Turn signals, invisible or visible, their use or the lack of use, have consequences.
Samir Shukla is the Editor of Saathee Magazine.
Contact: samir@saathee.com
X: @ShuklaWrites
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