Balaji Prasad
By Balaji Prasad
“This above all – to thine own self be true.” ~ William Shakespeare, in Hamlet
Is it possible to have unfettered freedom of speech? Maybe. But there’s some fine print that goes with this answer.
It depends on the audience! If you are talking about your own self as the audience, then maybe, yes. Surely, you can say things to yourself that would not cut through your emotions like a knife, or which would not conflict with things that you believe in with the deepest conviction? Alas, even with this trusted audience of one, you may find recalcitrance. There are things that many people wouldn’t even bring themselves to admit to their own selves.
So, you can’t even count on your own self to be a willing receiver of some words that may hold potential truths. Then how on earth could you contemplate that others would be likely to receive what you say? Especially when emotions are high and unexamined beliefs are held to be gospel truths.
It is possible that emotions and convictions in the population at large is at one of its highest points in history. Why?
“Poly tics”!
Emotions that are viscerally felt by someone are visually felt by those around them. The writing is on the face. Literally. It often manifests as grimaces, scowls, tics, and, sometimes, even growls that cause people around to draw back, startled from an unexpected level of reaction. Also, the range of subjects that seem to stimulate such behavior might be much more than at most other times in history.
People often ascribe the difficulties in communicating with others to “politics”. However, that word doesn’t seem to fully connote the range and degree of what we see nowadays. So, a new term, “poly tics’ may be a useful framing that captures the more aggravated sense of politics on steroids that is rampant.
Pretty much everything is “poly tics” nowadays. Whether it is the economics behind trade tariffs, the science behind viruses, the statistics behind carbon-dioxide, the philosophy behind nationhood, the morality behind crime and punishment, or even the biological basis for gender. The trouble with all these disciplines such as science, statistics, etc. are that they are often used to imbue human wordplay with a false sense of rigor and truth. Co-opting these disciplines for motivated ends simultaneously super-charges these with “poly tics” for those who attempt to discuss these things and erodes the value of the disciplines themselves by presenting the spectacle of how these are contorted and twisted to achieve whatever ends are desired by those who play fast and loose with these things.
How do you speak to others when the bases of speech itself are under assault?
To speak or not to speak?
The easy way out is to refrain from speaking about pretty much anything besides day-to-day trivial things. It is not uncommon to come across online groups that sternly warn that members who discuss “political” subjects will be censured, censored, or even ousted.
People resign themselves to “Happy Tuesday”, birthday wishes, movie recommendations and sports scores. That is one way.
The path of avoidance seems to lose quite a bit, though, for those driven by a desire to express, understand, share and engage in ways that are beyond the trivial, humdrum, and inane. Arguably, “those” would be pretty much everyone. Man is a social animal. Inviting people to a social party and asking them to observe silence, to refrain from eating, and to drink insipid beverages that are said to be “healthful” makes the party a bit of a cruel joke.
Is there a way to converse meaningfully in these times, without broken bones or bruised egos? Can you take control of the rudder of the ship, and navigate through the storm of conversation so that it is neither a “non-versation” nor a bonfire station?
It’s not you: it’s me!
When the mountain doesn’t come to you, you go to the mountain!
There are a few things of importance as we look inward and seek to turn the problem on its head.
First, it is important to have a healthy objective. You don’t seek to win. You desire something that is more pertinent to your existence, perhaps, more knowledge and understanding, if not of the subject matter, then about what others think and the way they think.
Second, your focused objective needs good technique. Develop a good forehand. The backhand causes insults and injuries and can be a quick path to various negative outcomes. One way is to use questions rather than assertions; this can be quite productive and give you points for being a great “conversationalist” though you hardly speak (a la Dale Carnegie’s sage advice).
Third, as Polonius said to Laertes in the quote at the top of this piece, you don’t have to buy anything from anyone. You are simply having a conversation. You can keep your convictions safely locked up in that steel trunk that is your mind, if you so choose. Unless your questions elicited something that moved your mind a tad bit. That’s the win! You keep your sooth, and your conversation soothes… or at least avoids adverse effects.
Balaji Prasad is an IIT/IIM graduate, a published author, SAT/ACT Online and in-person Coach, and K-12 Math Tutor at NewCranium. Contact: balaji.prasad@newcranium.com.
