Hiren Deliwala
By Hiren Deliwala
The world often feels like a suspicious place.
We walk through life in a heightened state of alertness, especially when traveling or when navigating unfamiliar spaces. When travelling to India or other countries from the US, it can feel like everyone is out to get us (even though a lot of us have grown up in India). Someone is trying to cheat us. Someone is watching us. Someone has an angle. And that mindset doesn’t stay limited to travel. It follows us home.
In everyday life, we often assume people are “out to get me.” Someone makes a joke that touches a nerve. Whatever they may have meant, we assume it was about us, that they were trying to get under our skin. Words hurt, and that hurt could feel real. There are people who intentionally try to hurt others. But not everyone is one of them.
I work in a large corporation. Like most jobs today, success depends on many teams and many people, all with different priorities. When things don’t move as fast as we want, it’s easy to assume the worst: they’re lazy, uncooperative, not helpful, political, incompetent. We assign motives without ever confirming them. Eventually, that way of thinking becomes automatic.
But here’s a quieter truth that’s harder to accept: the world isn’t out to get us. The universe doesn’t need us. It doesn’t care about us —positively or negatively. It simply is. Oddly enough, that realization can actually be freeing.
Now, let me be clear; this thinking doesn’t apply everywhere. Nations, politics, Wall Street bankers? Different rules apply. Blind trust there would be naïve. History has taught us that. The 2009 housing or stock market crash (or 1998 or 1929) didn’t happen by accident. Too many people assumed positive intent. Bernie Madoff didn’t just “miscommunicate.” Judgment matters.
But in day-to-day human interactions, whether with colleagues, neighbors, family, or friends, it may be healthier to start from a place of positive intent.
So why is that so hard? I think a lot of it comes from conditioning. Where I grew up, leaving things outside was risky. Going out at night was risky. Buying things could mean getting counterfeit goods.
Driving was risky because of careless auto wallas. Slowly, without realizing it, I learned to see the world through suspicion instead of trust. That mindset stuck.
I’ve tried to reform myself. Sometimes successfully. Sometimes not. I try to look at the positive side of things, but it’s easy to get pulled back into the vortex of what will go wrong, when it may go wrong, how people will eventually turn on me. Don’t trust others. Assume they won’t be nice to you. That voice is familiar.
Corporate life reinforces this. I’ve heard it said often: they won’t let brown people succeed. Brown managers are the worst. I’ve believed those stories at times — not objectively, but emotionally — treating someone else’s opinion as Gita instead of just that: an opinion.
And yet, being realistic doesn’t mean being cynical. Yes, trusting blindly can hurt us. Yes, people betray us. Yes, caution has value. But there’s a difference between exercising judgment and pre-judging everyone before they’ve even acted.
Assuming positive intent doesn’t mean ignoring red flags. It means not inventing them. It means leaving room for curiosity. Why did they say that? What else might be going on in their life? Is this really about me or am I making it so?
“Bhagwan sab ka bhala karo (God make everyone nice)” is a beautiful thought. But equally important is remembering that Bhagwan isn’t trying to ruin my life either. Most people are busy dealing with their own challenges. Their words or actions may land poorly, but that doesn’t automatically mean malice.
This matters most with the people closest to us. A call from mom starts with: “Why haven’t you called?” I automatically think she’s scolding me or guilt-trapping me. It could just be that she is missing me. With a spouse, a casual “You’re working late again?” or “I asked you to do that earlier” can get replayed, dissected, analyzed — repeatedly — until it becomes something negative. We scrutinize every word, every tone. Depending on our mindset, we make it mean something hurtful instead of something human. Ironically, we often extend the least grace to the people who care about us the most.
Why assume positive intent at all? Because life becomes lighter. Because relationships improve. Because our mental and physical health benefits. Because not every interaction needs to be a battle.
The world doesn’t need us. It isn’t conspiring against us either. It simply exists, and within it, most people are just trying to get through their own day.
Assuming positive intent doesn’t make us weak. It makes us calmer, clearer, and more human.
Hiren Deliwala is a Charlotte-based overthinker, closet philosopher, and avid board gamer. He writes about everyday life, Indian upbringing, and finding humor in the chaos. When not philosophizing over chai, he’s usually losing arguments to his wife and, shockingly, learning from them. Contact: hcdeliwala@gmail.com
