Dipika Kohli
By Dipika Kohli
This summer I visited North Carolina, after thirteen years away. I found out a couple of things through the reality of seeing it with my own eyes; things had very much, very definitively changed. I remember Hurricane Fran, way back when, and what went down. Citizens talked about it, and there was a sense of cooperation to right the damage, together. I feel like we were trying to figure things out collectively before, to be there for one another in a community-esque way, and intercommunity, not just intracommunity, I mean.
Being there this summer, though, I felt… that was gone. Like there was a natural disaster-like damage but not in a physical way, rather a… more psychological one.
It’s hard to stay in touch when you’re so far away, and I understand. Meantime, I’ve found other people, built a different sort of community, even found my ‘chosen family’ as so many people who do the same thing I am doing and who have wound up in other worlds like to say. A self-initiated disconnection from NC used to feel personal, but now I think maybe it’s much broader, and far less simple to explain away long mutual silences with old ties.
People out and about, people in public spaces, generally moved differently. Not everyone, but many. I also felt the education system’s degradation when I tried to interact with people. What the, was my feeling. What the, what happened here…
An overall cultural shift, too. Some told me it was the ‘snowbirds’ who came to the Triangle, moving for a lower cost of living and better weather from the Northeast. Really? That didn’t seem like it explained it all. Where were the North Carolinians who I know as being folks like me who love to sit out on the front porch, trading friendly, ‘Hey, how y’all doin’?’ exchanges with passerby? Gone. Absent. Just: not there.
When I was last in the Triangle it was 2013. Time warping back in 2026, as I did, you can imagine the reverse culture shock. I didn’t find that ease, that old ‘Southern hospitality’ that, even with all the hard parts of living in that part of the world, one could reliably find there and as such, feel relaxed around. My Southern accent came out at times. This was nice. This is where I’m from. Can you imagine how many times I’ve been asked this in Southeast Asia over the last decade? ‘Which country? Where are you from?’ North Carolina, that was my answer. It was the most true reply I could give.
It was hugely disconcerting to see that the old Southern easygoingness now only exists, as one business owner said, ‘In my living room.’ I left flyers for my zine club in other places because he had said ‘no’. The library said ‘no,’ too. But a few cafes said yes. It was like Singapore. You had to ask the boss. Really? ‘Really.’
With time to reflect, I think it may be bigger than just a Triangle thing. It could be the whole world.
According to ‘State of the World’s Emotional Health 2026,’ a Gallup report put together with the World Health Summit that looked into how people around the world are feeling, negative emotions remain elevated globally. Their words, exactly: ‘Negative emotions remain elevated globally. In 2025, at least one-third of people worldwide reported experiencing worry, stress and physical pain during a lot of the previous day. Roughly one in four reported experiencing sadness and anger.’ They looked at results of surveys of 1000 people over the age of 15, in 97 countries, that were done between March and August of this year. A report summary says, ‘While negative emotions have eased from some of the highs reached during or around the COVID-19 pandemic, they remain well above the levels Gallup measured two decades ago. Since 2006, physical pain has risen 10 percentage points, worry and sadness eight points each, stress seven points and anger by four points.’
Anger by four points. Anger.
What happened? I heard from different people that things were tough, yes, that things had gotten worse, yes, and that they were just waiting. Waiting… to see. As soon as I’d touched down this past summer, I’d immediately sensed the prickliness in the air. A mood shift.
We can’t know what’s going to happen, and I understand that. I know it’s going to take more time. For things to untangle, if they can, if they might. The optimists are there, too. They told me things. How there is no quick fix, no simple answer, no explaining it away. The days are gone when people want to talk about things, share their opinions out loud and freely. Now, you do that at home. But: you do.
Dipika Kohli is an author who is based in Phnom Penh. Discover her books at kismuth.com and other projects at dipikakohli.com.
